|
[Friday
November 6th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Michael Jackson - Man in the mirror |
] |
I miss going to IKEA to shop...knowing that it's only for my place.
I miss that.
I want that!
I'm just too darn broke now. I can't even afford a god damn phone bill.
FUCK MY LIFE. FUCK YOUR FUCKING LIFE FIDO. FUCK YOU.
On the other hand...HELLO ROGERS! LET'S GET A NEW PHONE SHALL WE?
Everything is going great so far.
I'm getting more hours at work, school is okay...Muay thai is awesome.
I'm getting back on track!
Can't wait for ESP skills camp on Wednesday.
It's funny how I look forward to days that get me away from school in any way shape or form.
So I'm currently listening to Man in the mirror. I remember when "This is it" came out. Rey and I watched it during the premiere. Honestly, if I wasn't so tired that day, I bet I would have enjoyed it much more. I want to see it again. If you haven't watched it, what in the hell are you waiting for? RUN!
|
|
|
|
[Friday
July 24th, 2009] |
|
I hate you.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
July 21st, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pleased |
] |
So...
I WORK AT THE GAP...and I have a sure job at Fruits & Passion & Nine West as well.
Funny how I never had a time where I had an interview, and didn't get the job.
My mom's the same. I guess we're naturally just good.
I'm going to maintain two jobs, but I just need to pick which second.
I need the money anyways. I need to buy internet and cable!
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
May 20th, 2009] |
I've been sick since first period yesterday morning.
Now, I just feel darn terrible as hell.
Watch me have the swine flu....OH SHIT!
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
May 12th, 2009] |
So it's really happening.
He's starting to give away his things.
Let's see where this really takes me.
Goodbye Scarborough...hopefully sooner than expected.
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
March 18th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
J Holiday - It's yours |
] |
Been a while since I updated this thing.
Yesterday, Wesley came over and picked me up from my place.
We went out to watch Watchmen at Town; Since, you know, IT'S ONLY $4.99!
We kept getting rudely interrupted by this dick's cell.
Christian kept calling telling us to meet up with him after the movie is over.
We had no idea that the movie was actually 3 hours long.
It wasn't even that great of a movie; quite confusing, actually.
So Christian picked us up with his car along with Sean, Danny and Daniel.
We went to Christian's for about an hour...THEN OFF WE GO TO OLD FINCH!
Honestly, it's been a while since I went out with friends. Like shit, I really needed that.
I wanna go out tonight.
|
|
|
|
[Friday
February 20th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
So I'm going to Semi...
Oh how I love Wesley and Chris brown.
I love you. Now you just need to lend me a dress :)
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
January 22nd, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
Shit to bring:
> Outerwear
> jammies
> shoes
> underwear (panties & socks)
> Hair brush
> straightener
> toothbrush
> laptop w/ charger
> cell phone charger
> gifts for phili fam
> all medicines
> ipod w/ charger
There's a list of my items to bring. Hopefully I look at this before I pack.
I think I should have just written this and posted it on my wall.
Oh well! What's done is done.
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
January 22nd, 2009] |
Today was a good day :)
>I'm finally enrolled in Night school @ Vanier
>I have my last 4th per. spare tomorrow, I better make the best of it
>Tomorrow is my last day
>Tomorrow is civies
>I can't wait 'til the weekend :)
Other than everything else, there's 1 more day of school to get through, and 4 days in total.
& I'm gone for three weeks!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....stupid bitches, you're going to be in school!
Nah Nah nah nah boo boooooooooooooooooooo.
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
January 22nd, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
Still contemplating whether I should switch co-op placements or not.
Today, I asked one of the charge nurses to watch a procedure in IGU.
I mean, I've seen a bunch before & I've enjoyed watching them.
I stood still right beside the surgeons with the hair net, mask, anti-radiation suit...the works.
The procedure was 2 hours in total.
Apparently the neonatal baby had a fungi in the brain and it wasn't responding to sucrose;
she wasn't even responding to the first line at all.
So the procedure was to withdraw 2 CC's of blood near the heart, as well as insert a line through the baby's forcep towards the heart.
Man, was it a long surgury compared to others.
Many people wonder how I can watch babies die everyday and watch surguries being performed.
...It fascinates me.
Take a good look at the future surgeon right over here!
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
January 20th, 2009] |
So there's currently 3 more days of school I have to go through until I'm free.
There's currently 6 days in total that I have to dread through.
...but I'll only be gone for about 2 weeks.
Are you excited, you ask? HECK YEAH.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
January 20th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kid Cudi - Day & Night |
] |
I carry no regrets.
I believe that things happen for a reason.
The decisions we make and the routes we take, I believe it has already been planned for us.
Someone once told me, "You have to go through hell to get to heaven."
You'll never know. Maybe things were just meant to be.
All I know is:
God wouldn't place us into a position he thought we couldn't handle.
|
|
|
|
[Monday
January 19th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 restless |
] |
So I literally stayed up last night in order to study for my chemistry exam.
I used majority of my time for chem, and none for english.
I ended up winging my essay, & I have to admit...I think I did farely well.
I had the assumption that:
ENGLISH & CHEMISTRY WERE GOING TO RAPE ME HARD UP THE ASS.
But guess what?
I raped HIM...THEM.
I TOOK THEIR DICK, SLAPPED IT IN AND FUCKING ATE THAT SHIT!
... :)
No one ever said life would be easy.
But no one ever said my life would suck this hard.
At times I feel like you could say the most thoughtful things; but you hold back.
I can tell that the things your hear are you eating you up inside.
You're more like my ALIVEjournal.
I'll repost when I'm not so darn tired.
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
January 15th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
I worked out real hard with Wesley today.
Mostly on my legs, abdominals &back.
I bet I'm going to feel that shit tomorrow morning.
In the words of my relgion teacher, Mr. Kennedy,
"You can always change your mind; but you cannot change your heart."
Think about that...
Well too be honest, I know I can apply that to my life right now,
but I just can't pin-point it.
I guess I just really like the quote?
I would love to say that my life was all bliss; but that would be a lie.
I just don't know what's wrong with me.
This isn't something anyone else can fix or help me with.
Can I even help myself?
Deep down, I'm hurting.
...It's even starting to show physically.
(I'll come back to this later when I have a better train of thought)
& WOW. I'VE HAD THIS LJ FOR THREE YEARS NOW.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
January 13th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
There's not enough time in a day.
There's not enough time in a year.
When I ask for time, is it really necessary?
Or am I just stalling? Will it really help me?
Nevermind.
& You ask me why I always look like I'm about to punch someone out.
There's just too much shit running through my head.
I'm only sixteen.
What am I doing?
Notice how there were so many questions.
I Must be confused.
>EDIT @ 735
NO. THERE ISN'T ENOUGHT TIME FOR ANYTHING.
LOOK WHAT HAPPENED NOW.
MY HANDS ARE COVERED IN BLOOD & BANDAIDS.
FUCKING GREAT.
PROBLEMS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
NO ONE FUCKING UNDERSTANDS. NO ONE KNOWS.
I CHOOSE TO BOTTLE MY SHIT UP INSIDE.
WHY ME.
|
|
|
|
[Monday
January 12th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
It's fun to look at previous livejournal entries.
Man, was I stupid back then.
From now on, I'm going to post everyday.
Just so in the future,
I can say I was stupid at the age of 16, again.
...Shit. I'm supposed to be studying for chemistry.
|
|
|
|
[Monday
January 12th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
I had my parenting midterm evaluation today.
We had to do a baby budget for a year.
My scenario was that I was married, middle class, breastfed, with ... TWINS.
We had to research the cost of the listed items, and guess the amount we needed for a whole year.
With my calculations, it will cost me $15,002.41 to raise twins for their first year.
At the end of the project, we had to write down what we learned from doing it.
My answer: NEVER HAVE KIDS.
~
On a side note:
Have you thought that your current life would have been what it is now?
I mean, the people you meet, the decisions that you make...
would you have ever thought that you would be who you are today?
I didn't.
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
January 10th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Starting Line - Surprise Surprise |
] |
It's been a while since I've written here publicly.
I have to admit that most of my entries have been locked; it's a way for me to express how I feel,
without having to show others my emotions.
These past couple of weeks have honestly been stressful.
I remember reading one of my old entries about 1 1/2 weeks ago.
I stated that I was losing hair, and I've been getting serious under-eye bags due to stress.
Seriously, this shit keeps piling.
A friend once told me that with every heartache and pain, something good will come out of it.
When? WHEN?
I'm very vigilant when it comes to my emotions and having to express them to others.
I just believe that there are some things that are meant to be kept hidden; some things that should never be spoken.
-----
I've been living my life trying to please others before myself.
Of course I always knew how I lived & how I make my decisions.
And it recently hit me...
The way I make my decisions is never about me.
It's always about others.
By my dad wanting me to become a doctor, and by me allowing him to control me like some animal...
it occured to me that although I may have the slightest intrest in that career,
I'm doing it for him.
That being said, the cause of my stress is because of others. No scratch that, it's because of ME.
The decisions that I make in life affect ME.
By choosing what others want, or by making a decision to keep the other one happy,
it kills me.
I'm working at Sick Kids; I'm taking all university courses(All science, math, calculus), nightschool and for who?
My dad. Does it honestly make me happy? I don't know. That's one thing I have to figure out.
If you know me well, You know that I live my life to keep those around me satisfied.
I know that this is something about me that has to change.
But the thing is, I can't.
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
October 9th, 2008] |
YOU HONESTLY DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS.
I DO SO MUCH, BUT IT NEVER RECIPROCATES.
FUCK YOU
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
August 2nd, 2008] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
I'm nearsighted.
I need reading glasses.
I have work from 2-11 tomorrow.
I need to leave the house at 11 because of the damn traffic caribana is causing.
DAMN YOU, CARIBANA...DAMN YOU.
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
reezaa's journal